Today’s post will be a letter to Mamie, if it’s ok with you.
When I was a child, you have given me the love I needed to grow into the person I am today, the values I will now pass along to my own daughter and shared (or at least, tried to share) with me some of your wisdom. You have done an amazing job juggling your duties as a mom and a working nurse. Now that I am a mother myself, I can only imagine the struggles you went through, between balancing family, career and personal interests.
We’ve had our ups and downs throughout the years, thankfully, many more ups than downs. You were always there when we needed you, whether it was an ear to listen to us or coming to pick me up at a party when everybody was drunk and I wasn’t having any fun (being the only one sober). You have supported me and my (sometimes poor) choices, you’ve let me make (and learn from) my mistakes. You’ve disciplined me when I needed to be, but most importantly, you’ve loved me through it all. I can honestly say that you are the best mom I could’ve asked for, showing me what a strong, determined, balanced woman looks like.
Tomorrow is an important day for you. I so desperately wish I could be there for you, even if it would be to just sit with Dad in the waiting room while they wheel you away for your surgery. I know that Dad will take excellent care of you and will keep me updated as to how you’re doing and I have to trust that the surgeon will be having a good day and will get all of the cancer that has chosen to inhabit you. I’m confident that the cancer has nothing on you, you are such a strong and determined woman, this cancer doesn’t stand a chance against you. I won’t lie, I’ve been very emotional all day today, but only because I want everything to go well and I wish you didn’t have to go through all of this.
Then again, this cancer is beautiful. It is teaching us about love, about positivity, about faith, about being strong as a family. As a new mom, this beautiful cancer is teaching me to be strong and aware, to show my daughter how much I love her each and everyday, to tell my husband how much I appreciate and adore him. It is teaching me to admire my Mom and Dad, strain to achieve the kind and supportive bond they’ve had for 40 years now (actually, 45 years since they were together). This cancer is teaching me to never give up on my dreams and not wait to make them happen. It is teaching me to live my life fully and to the best of my abilities.
As most of my friends are praying for the Canucks to win game 7, I will be praying that you beat this cancer without any major hiccups. I will be praying that, one day, my own daughter looks at me with admiration, the way I look at you with admiration right now. You are an example of strength and courage that I can only dream to achieve one day. You are so serene and positive about this whole thing, that I, in return, can only be serene and positive.
I love you with all my heart and I know that you know it, but I just wanted to say it again. I’ll be sending you all my positive vibes for tomorrow.
Maman, je t’aime plus que tout,