Keep Your Chin Up

Today, I did something I’m not proud of. I walked out of the box after the WOD not establishing eye contact with anybody, head bowed and crying. That is NOT who I am and I will explain how I got there

I started the Thrusters at 55#, but it was too heavy. I needed to warm-up to a lesser weight, so I scaled back at 45# and went from there. I managed to get up to 60# before failing on the 3rd rep at 65#. I tried for a second time for a set of 65#, but I couldn’t even get the bar over my shoulders, so I was done!

After those Thrusters, it was time for the WOD. My legs were already jelly and still sore from the lunges on Monday… 😦

I got my 26# KB ready and my 20″ box as well. As for the Walkover Push-ups, I had looked up the video link:

I didn’t quite know what to expect, but I knew I wanted to finish at least 2 rounds. After the 1st round, I was aiming for 3 rounds, even though I was struggling. In the middle of the 2nd round, I started fighting back tears. I’m not sure where it came from, but I had a big lump in my throat and I just felt like bursting out into tears. I took a couple of deep breaths and kept plotting along, all the while, swallowing the tears and the sobs. With 2 mins left, I managed to finish my 3rd round and I was aiming to at least complete 1 Box-jump. I didn’t make it there, by only a few seconds as I finished my round of Taters.

I crouched up on the ground and let the tears flow, trying not to sob uncontrollably. I gave Coach Caleb my sad score of 162 and walked out, head hung low and tears still flowing, more heavily now. I know exactly what happened. I wasn’t crying because of my score, I was just letting go of the accumulated stress of the past few weeks. Being alone with the girls, Ben being away, the whole “trying to find a suitable nanny” saga had taken their toll on me and I broke down. I had been pushing down my frustrations and the WOD just brought it right out to the raw surface.

I sat in my car and had a good cry, until another lady from the box noticed I was crying and sat with me in the car. I know her face, but I don’t even know her name, so I feel bad about that, but she listened to me and gave me a warm hug. She also said she would put out feelers for potential nannies amongst her acquaintances, which I thought was really nice. Then she told me something that really helped: “Chin up Mama, you got your good cry out, now it’s time to look on the positive side of things. You did good today and Crossfit helped you get out the bad stuff. Now, you can focus on the good stuff.” She was absolutely right. We hugged one more time, said goodbye and I drove home.

On the radio, the cheesy Katy Perry song was on and even though both Ben and I are sick of this song, I cranked up the volume because

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar

P.S. Thanks again lady from the Box. You were a friend and a good ear to listen to my snotty blabber when I needed one. See you Friday! πŸ˜‰

9 thoughts on “Keep Your Chin Up

  1. I… have been known to cry when I lift really heavy. There’s something about physical release that can trigger emotional release, and you’ve got a lot going on right now. I cried in the middle of a set of deadlifts the week after I found out we didn’t get a house we wanted and that The Boy was changing jobs. It happens. You’re not un-tough because of it. (My physical therapist says she has more people cry during massages than when they’re in actual pain from what she’s doing.) Hang in there. (PS way to go on beating your target on that WOD!)

  2. I had a cry at the gym recently, too. I think my coach is still afraid of me and I’m having a hard time making eye contact with the woman who followed me into the bathroom to give me a hug. I HATE crying in front of people. I rarely do it even in front of my husband. I just HATE it.

    But when you’re done, things are so much clearer. And I’m glad you got your cry out and I hope things look brighter. (And congratulations on the WOD – it sounds pretty brutal! Box jumps after thrusters??? I can barely stand after thrusters.)

    • Things are the same, but I have my positive outlook back, so I guess it’s better! πŸ™‚ I HATE crying in public too! Thankfully, I don’t do it often! πŸ˜‰

  3. Pingback: Monkey Business | Ramblings of a Babymama

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