Fight The Suck

15.5 was announced on Thursday. Here’s what was awaiting me for the final Open 2015 workout:

My first reaction was:

Then, I saw the girls go through it (Sam, Annie and Camille) and I saw how the struggle was real for these phenomenal athletes and my confidence was slowly fading away. My initial goal was a sub 25:00 to finish. As time went on, I started thinking that a sub 30:00 would be great, then a sub 35:00 would be ok. Really, I just wanted to finish under my 14.5 score of 38:53. That would be my end goal for this one. I was getting scared beyond belief. I remembered how much 14.5 sucked and I knew 15.5 would probably be equally sucky.

I got up at 0630 to go walk the Duke and although it was early to get up for on a day off, it was nice. We walked up to the reservoir and since it was so early, there was nobody there and I was able to let him off leash so he could run to his little heart’s content! He still has the puppy run and trips over his legs, so I had a few good laughs with him.

We came back home, I showered and had a lazy breakfast. I was sure the class was starting at 0930 this morning, but I checked the website just to be safe. Good thing I did because class was starting in 30 mins (0900, not 0930). I gobbled the rest of my breakfast and got going. I paired up with Megan and she would go first and would judge me in the second heat. Megan did awesome and it was empowering yet intimidating to see her accomplish her goal for each rounds of thrusters.

Then it was my turn. My breakfast resurfaced in my throat and stayed there for the entire WOD. I got on the erg and was aiming at around 900cals/500m for that round. I managed to keep that up and moved onto the thrusters.

Wearing my "Two Peas In A WOD" tank with the hopes that Krista (my other pea) would somehow give me some of her strength.

Wearing my “Two Peas In A WOD” tank with the hopes that Krista (my other pea) would somehow give me some of her strength.

I had set out a goal of 7-5-5-5-5 for the first round of thrusters. Yeah no. I dropped that goal quickly. I broke everything into rounds of 3 for all the rounds. Which made the suck last this much longer.

Already have my "hurt face" on... It was still early in the WOD as I'm still wearing my tank top...

Already have my “hurt face” on… It was still early in the WOD as I’m still wearing my tank top…

Back to the erg for a row of 21cals. I managed to keep everything around 900cals/500m for that one as well and even though it was hard, I felt like this was my recovery. Onto the thrusters I went. I tried my best to do more than 3 reps in a row, but I just couldn’t keep it up. Rounds of 3 reps and I managed to squat clean my 1st rep on almost all rounds. And then, the WOD broke me. I was trying my best not to have an emotional breakdown, but the sobs just came out and the tears flowed out.

Back on the erg for 15 more calories. For the first 10 calories, I was just trying to control the sobs and my breathing.  I fought to keep my strokes above 800cals/500m. I kept thinking of my darling girls and how I was doing this so I can be a better mom for them. It was already hard enough, I needed to get my breathing back under control in order to keep going. I think I managed to do so before stepping off the erg and it took all my mental fortitude not to break down again as I made my way to the thrusters. I just wanted to rest and recover a little longer before going back to that damn bar. No such luck. I broke the 15 in sets of 3 again and there was one set where I just couldn’t get that bar on my shoulders. I dropped it back, got my breath under control, picked it up again and kept fighting for every rep. For the remainder of the Thrusters, I kept thinking about my mom, who fought through 2 bouts of breast cancer and chemo weekly for almost 8 months. The pain I was feeling was nothing compared to all the struggles she has gone through. I just needed to suck it up and keep going.

Photo 2015-03-28, 10 14 20 AM

Pain. Plain and simple, all over my face. Also, abs are making their first appearance in over a decade. This is good!

Back to the erg for the final 9 calories-row. I tried to maintain my strokes above 750cals/500m. I just want more time to recover. I don’t want to go back to the thrusters. NO. MORE. THRUSTERS. PLEASE!

I broke them into sets of 3 again and finished dead last. Didn’t even care about my final time, I just broke down in tears, yet again. I literally left it all on the floor. Megan came by and told me I crushed my 30 mins goal. I looked up at my time on that little piece of paper and saw the magic number:

23:09.

I had done it and not only had I crushed my goal of finishing under my 14.5 time, I had also crushed my original goal of sub 25:00. Am I happy with my score? Yes and no. I really wish I hadn’t broken down like I did, but I still managed to push through and finished under my goal time.

Krista texted me just as I was finishing the WOD and she wanted to see my post-WOD face. Here’s the pic I sent her:

Photo 2015-03-28, 10 27 21 AM

Not a pretty face, but then again, nothing was pretty about 15.5!

 

The 2015 Crossfit Open Games are now officially over for me. All I need now is to wait until next Tuesday to see where I finish up in the rankings. I hope I’ll finish better than last year but only time will tell.

The inside of my shorts. I don't know that I destroyed 15.5, but I finished and that's all I wanted in the end!

The inside of my shorts. I don’t know that I destroyed 15.5, but I finished and that’s all I wanted in the end!

 

3 thoughts on “Fight The Suck

  1. Awesome job and way to push through. I’ve yet to do 15.5 and with my bad shoulder I have no idea how it will go. A part of me wants to do it just to say I did. But it can definitely hurt my shoulder more. We’ll see. Great job!

    • Thanks! It was really hard. You are the only one who knows if it’s safe to do it or not. Have you considered the scaled version?

      • I was thinking the scaled version and lighter weight might be better for my shoulder, but I think just the higher number of reps would be bad. One side of me says not to do it, to take it easy on my shoulder.. the other side, says.. suck it up and do it! I’m still battling a stomach flu though, so it’s most likely I won’t be doing it.

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