After the exhausting day we had yesterday and being up for 30hrs+ straight, I looked at the WOD last night and didn’t feel like going to Crossfit. However I knew I’d feel better just stepping foot into the Box so I forced myself to go. It wasn’t pretty, but I got it done.
I was greeted by a huge hug from Tracey and that opened up my floodgates, but I honestly didn’t care.I expected today to be a release of the said gates and I was ready for it.
Skill: Hang power snatch + OHS x 8
We had done something similar in a Oly class so I started at 50# for 4 reps and bumped it up to 55# for the last 4. My 2 middle reps at 55# were ugly, but I had a self-talk about bracing core, punching the bar up and dropping underneath it and finished off with better form.
WOD: Kitty Paws
I knew this would be hard, but I didn’t know just how hard it would be. I did a combo of TG+, which meant I used a 55# bar and decided on doing 10 DUs for each rounds. I may have been able to do 65, but I wasn’t feeling it at all, being on the verge of tears and all… The first round was uneventful and it took me a long time to get my 10 DUs done. It’s different doing them in my lifting shoes. The second round is where everything started to go downhill. I was tearing up a lot and had a hard time staying focused on the task at hand. I closed my eyes for the single skips and repeated that technique for all the remaining rounds in order to regroup. I honestly can’t tell you my time. I think it was around the 19:00 mark, but I didn’t even look at the clock when I finished. I just sank to my knees, put my head on them and bawled. I just needed to release all the sadness about Duke in order to be strong for the girls today. My goal is to not cry today with them, so I had a good go at it this morning. I was way last to finish and I’m sure people were probably wondering what the heck was wrong with me, but I really didn’t care. I have said it many times before, Crossfit is my therapy. I got my money’s worth today! 😉 After a few minutes, I tried to settle my breathing, taking one breath in, one breath out. I got up, picked up my gear and left.
A wise woman (my mom ;)) once told me to focus on the things I had power to change. I can’t change anything about the Duke situation. I can’t dwell on the “what if’s” and I need to be there for my girls. I need to be strong for them in order to let them feel their emotions about the whole thing. So instead, I will focus on the things I have control over: being a wife, a mom, planning my meals, enjoying my workouts and making the most of my days off with my little family all while breathing, one breath at-a-time.