Breathe

After the exhausting day we had yesterday and being up for 30hrs+ straight, I looked at the WOD last night and didn’t feel like going to Crossfit. However I knew I’d feel better just stepping foot into the Box so I forced myself to go. It wasn’t pretty, but I got it done.

I was greeted by a huge hug from Tracey and that opened up my floodgates, but I honestly didn’t care.I expected today to be a release of the said gates and I was ready for it.

Source

Source

Skill: Hang power snatch + OHS x 8

We had done something similar in a Oly class so I started at 50# for 4 reps and bumped it up to 55# for the last 4. My 2 middle reps at 55# were ugly, but I had a self-talk about bracing core, punching the bar up and dropping underneath it and finished off with better form.

WOD: Kitty Paws

I knew this would be hard, but I didn’t know just how hard it would be. I did a combo of TG+, which meant I used a 55# bar and decided on doing 10 DUs for each rounds. I may have been able to do 65, but I wasn’t feeling it at all, being on the verge of tears and all… The first round was uneventful and it took me a long time to get my 10 DUs done. It’s different doing them in my lifting shoes. The second round is where everything started to go downhill. I was tearing up a lot and had a hard time staying focused on the task at hand. I closed my eyes for the single skips and repeated that technique for all the remaining rounds in order to regroup. I honestly can’t tell you my time. I think it was around the 19:00 mark, but I didn’t even look at the clock when I finished. I just sank to my knees, put my head on them and bawled. I just needed to release all the sadness about Duke in order to be strong for the girls today. My goal is to not cry today with them, so I had a good go at it this morning. I was way last to finish and I’m sure people were probably wondering what the heck was wrong with me, but I really didn’t care. I have said it many times before, Crossfit is my therapy. I got my money’s worth today! 😉 After a few minutes, I tried to settle my breathing, taking one breath in, one breath out. I got up, picked up my gear and left.

A wise woman (my mom ;)) once told me to focus on the things I had power to change. I can’t change anything about the Duke situation. I can’t dwell on the “what if’s” and I need to be there for my girls. I need to be strong for them in order to let them feel their emotions about the whole thing. So instead, I will focus on the things I have control over: being a wife, a mom, planning my meals, enjoying my workouts and making the most of my days off with my little family all while breathing, one breath at-a-time.

4 thoughts on “Breathe

  1. Bravo Val, tu fais la bonne chose en mettant le cap sur ce dont tu as du pouvoir et là, je reconnais la force de ma fille!!
    Être là pour les filles et aller de l’avant!
    Bisous Xxx

  2. Sorry for your loss 😢 it’s great that you made it to the Box and was able to let your sadness out so you could be strong for your girls.

    • I’m just glad my people let me be weird and such a hot mess at the Box. I truly feel like nobody’s judging me there and I can let my emotions flow when I can’t be so free at home. Thanks for your kind words

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