Body Weight, I’m Coming For You!

Béatrice is finally on the mend which means, I have had a solid, uninterrupted night of sleep until 0600, when Rina came to ask me if she was still grounded… She had been without iPad privileges yesterday for not listening and giving me attitude and she was anxious for the sanctions to be lifted. I told her it was too early to discuss that and that she needed to go back to bed. I half expected her to stay in her room for a short while and then go downstairs, but she fell back asleep until I woke up at 0715! Last night, I was debating going to the 0600 class, but I kind of wanted to sleep in this morning since Rina has a Pr0-D day. That meant attempting to sleep in was something fathomable and I chose to do just that! Hurray for sneaking in extra rest!

I got up, made the girls pancakes while I made myself an egg, 1/3 sweet potato, with salsa and 1/4 avocado! Yum! Topped it off with a coffee and got ready for Crossfit.

Skill: Back Squats 5×3 E90S

I’ve been chasing my goal of squatting my body weight on the back squat and I was wanting to try to get up to 135# today. I’m usually cautious with any squat and deadlift since my sciatic has a tendency to get angry with them, so I wasn’t feeling too hot for these this morning. I remembered the last time I had tried 130#, I was seeing stars and had to back out of a lift, so I wasn’t hopeful that I could get to 135# today, but I made it my goal.

I warmed up to 115# and we got going. At 125#, Coach AJ came over to tell me I was “stripping” my lift (not keeping my shoulders up on the up of the squat and leading with my butt instead of my shoulder). She reminded me to keep the shoulders back and the core tights, all the while, pressing my shoulders into the bar.

I loaded up my bar with 130# and tried as best I could to do everything Coach AJ had just told me. Yes! 3 reps done! One set to go.

I loaded up my bar with 135# and shared my plates with Marika. We had a nice system going and it worked out well. I managed 2 reps with some effort, but I think I managed to keep my form proper. The 3rd rep was a little stripper-ish, but I dug deep, pulling the bar into my shoulders and managed to get back up for my 3rd rep! OH YEAH! Heaviest squat I’ve ever done in my life! That means I am officially 10# away from back squatting my body weight! Gainz and weights going up! Woot! Woot!

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WOD: Hung Up

After celebrating the high of my back squat, I had shaky legs and was very apprehensive about the WOD. Coach AJ had said we should aim for a time of 10:00 try to break our snatches into two for each rounds. Ha! Here I was aiming for 3 reps before putting the bar down! I scaled down the weight to 40# and was planning to do all the reps. For my pull-ups, I scaled it with the red and blue bands. I tried with the red and purple, but I was struggling way too much.

3-2-1-Go! The snatches were hard, but then again, they are my weakest lift I feel. I’m still not able to snatch a decent weight (in my opinion) and I struggle with these. I made sure to have perfect form on most of my reps though and I think I managed to do so. I broke the pull-ups into sets of 3s, then 2s. 21 was a lot and I was drained.

I got to the bar for my set of 15s and I wanted to quit sooooo bad! I was really trying to break them into 8-7, but I had to do 4-4-5-2. My forearms were done and the thought of 15 pull-ups was crushing my spirit, let alone another full round of 9s. I broke all the pull-ups into sets of 2 and made my way back to the bar.

I managed to break the last snatches into 5-4, then onto the rig for my last pull-ups where I broke them up into 2, except for the last 3 that I somehow managed in-a-row.

That WOD looked all innocent and cute, but it was a monster in disguise. I’m so proud of myself for not quitting on the round of 15, though because, once again, it means I am stronger than I think I am physically and I just need to keep pushing through the mental barrier in order to succeed.

That was me today, and pretty much everyday at the gym!

That was me today, and pretty much everyday at the gym!

It gives me hope for my upcoming 5k that I plan to run on October 5th. I’ll talk more about that in a separate post… That run will be all mental and I’m going to need to dig deep into my mental fortitude in order to finish, I just know it! I left the Box with shaky legs from the squats and shaky arms and hands from all the grip of the snatch and pull-ups!

On my way home, I saw a biker that had been hit by a car, so I stopped and asked if he was ok. He was bloody and couldn’t move one of his shoulders, but I didn’t have to intervene since the ambulance and cops arrived just shortly after I did.

I am now planning to take the girls to Hotel Transylvania 2 this afternoon. It will be their very first time watching a movie on a big screen! I’m not sure that Béatrice will tolerate the noise and length of the movie, but I plan on going with my sister-in-law, who would then say with Rina at the theatre while I take Béatrice home if she’s too bored. Keeping my fingers crossed it will be a successful outing! Who knows, maybe I’ll even be able to sneak in a nap in the dark! 😉

 

Out Like A Belly Button

I swear, the kids are adorable and all, but I sure wish they would sleep through the night. Béa was up multiple times last night which means I’m not getting the rest I need to recover from all the intensity I’ve been putting my body through lately.

She's got gorgeous brown eyes! I just wish she'd keep them closed through the night! ;)

She’s got gorgeous brown eyes! I just wish she’d keep them closed through the night! 😉

 

Yesterday Kathleen cancelled our mesh on Sunday and I wasn’t too sad she did so. She’s been bombarded with visitors and hasn’t had time to unpack into her new house, so she will make time for that this weekend. I, on the other hand, will use this opportunity to do nothing (workout-wise) and just enjoy the long weekend with Ben and the girls, before I head back into work on Monday.

I woke up startled by my alarm at 0500 and somehow managed to get up and ready for my last workout this week:

I saw this on Facebook as I was feeling up before the workout and thought: Yep!

I saw this on Facebook as I was fuelling up before the workout and thought: Yep!

 

 

 

I teamed up with Tracey for the warm-up and literally was biting my arm during the wallsits! The plank holds weren’t as bad and I felt like I could have held a little longer on them, but those wallsits were pretty horrible, considering I had just finished those air squats at a good speed (for me!)

Skill: Kipping pull-ups 4×6 E2M

I focused on my strict for these and used the red and blue, but maybe I should have used the red and purple instead. It somewhat easy to do the 6 reps, but I my hands felt like they were on the verge of ripping.

WOD: Snatch & Grab

I had never done this one before and since it involved the ever elusive snatch, I had to resort to TG for today. I felt like a wimp using such a low weight, but then again, seeing as my 1RM is 60# made it easier to swallow. Here’s how I scaled it:

4 rounds of

  • 6 Hang power snatch @ 45#
  • 8 burpee bar hops
  • 10 front squats @45#

I really thought the front squats would be a piece of cake at that weight, but man, was I wrong! I had to break them into 3 sets for every round! I tried my best to keep all the burpee bar hops Rx, but had to drop to granny-style for a few reps each rounds. Jess walked in and smiled at me after one of my rounds. She was dancing and the best I could do was to give my Bitchy Resting Face. Sorry Jess! I was trying to save every calorie of energy for the WOD and smiling was impeding on that! 😉

bitchface

I have BRF and I own it!

 

Oh well, not my best WOD at all. To be honest, I didn’t really care. I just wanted to be done. Done with the WOD, but also done with the intense week I’d just put my body through. Here were my times for the rounds:

1:35 – 1:45 – 1:45 – 1:34

Which gives me 3:19 for this WOD.

I can’t wait to go for my massage this morning! That’ll start recovery painfully well! I don’t go for fluffy massages. I prefer the deep tissue kind and my RMT is also a Crossfitter, so she knows which muscles we work and what needs to be worked on. She’s awesome in a dominatrix kind of way! Teehee! I find myself breathing through the pain when she works on certain areas, but I know I always feel better after!

In the meantime, don’t expect a lot of posts until next week, because I’ll be out like a belly-button for some well-deserved rest & recovery!

 

Where I’m At

Something weird happened this morning:

My alarm woke me up!

My alarm woke me up!

I got dressed, ate my snack and made my way to the Box. As I got there, I realized that in 5 days, I will celebrate my 2 years of doing Crossfit! I will do my recap post below because I have time to do so today, but for now, here’s what we did at the Box:

WOD: Pull Popper

I had done this WOD before, back in March and I knew what to expect. I teamed up with Lara and Telsey and they suggested we use 55#!!! I told them to do a few reps with an empty bar to get the feel of it and I wasn’t going any higher than 45# (I had done 40# back in March). My teammates chose to stay at 35# and it was a smart decision! I started us off on the erg and my 1st two rounds were so strong! I kept my pace anywhere between 1:50-1:59/500m and I even saw 1:49 at one point! It scared me a little because I didn’t want to gas out. The snatches were hard and I had to break them into sets of 5 and even did some 3-2 sets thrown in there. Because we didn’t have the big bumper plates on our bars, we had to do erghop burpees. I did all mine Rx, except for one rep in my third round. That 3rd round almost did me in. I was slower on my 1st row, I wanted to quit on the snatches as well as on the burpees and the last row was slow in comparison (2:06-2:10/500m). I used my rest time to reset my mindset and switch it around. Even though I was slower on the last round, I was giving it my all and once I was done, I stepped outside in the cooler air, dropped to my hands and knees, liked that the concrete felt so cool and decided to just belly flop onto it in order to catch my breath and cool off. I was breathing so heavy, my throat still hurts. It literally took me close to an hour after I was done before the nausea subsided. I came close to Pukie the clown a few times, but managed to keep everything down. We finished in 42:49 and although it took us longer than on my previous attempt, I know that my partners gave it their all! Telsey was so freakin’ strong on the erg and Lara made the snatches look easy and flawless.

I came home, went straight to bed and cuddled next to my husband. the thought of washing my hair made me want to scream (arms over head? I don’t think so) and the calluses in my hands were burning so bad. I still can’t do a hyper-extension of my fingers as it pulls too much on the calluses. I can just walk around with claw hands for today, I’m cool with that!

True story!

True story!

OK! Back to serious business: My 2-year anniversary at Crossfit! I can’t believe I have kept this up for so long! For the first time in my life, I have been consistently physically active. Not only that, I now plan my life around the times I can squeeze in a workout. Working out has become a priority in my life (Who am I? Really???) and it is now second nature to wake up before any other creature does in order to go sweat my little(r) butt out! (Who am I kidding, I don’t have a little butt, I squat for goodness’ sake!)

In order to keep the tradition alive, here’s is my comparison in numbers and pictures:

Screen Shot 2015-07-17 at 9.04.04 AM

As you can see, I haven’t lost much weight. Really, some people lose that amount of weight just thinking about it (Ahem, my husband!). 11.4lbs is nothing. I know some other people would probably have way more dramatic results, but this is me on MY journey. I have to say, I am so freakin’ proud of where I am today: I work full-time (shift work), have two young daughters, a husband whom I adore and still manage to keep up with this madness that I’ve come to love! Plus, a total of 12.5″ of fat loss isn’t anything to spit at either! Wanna see what those numbers look like in pictures?

2015-07-17

Here it is!

I don’t really like to look at my Day 1 pictures. Not because of my physical appearance, but look at my facial expression. You can tell that I really struggled through those pics. I was not in a good place mentally (never mind physically) and I’m pretty sure depression wasn’t too far off my radar. I’m so, so glad I walked into Crossfit VicCity on the day that I did. I may not be at my best physically, but man am I stronger mentally and emotionally. I honestly cannot see the day when I won’t want to wake up at 0500 in order to go shed some blood, sweat and tears with my second family. I’m so happy with where I’m at because even though I’m still pudgy in some areas, I am comfortable in who I am because I know what my pudgy body can accomplish. And for that reason, I will strut my stuff in my bikini in a few weeks on the Cuban beaches!

Like I said, I am stronger mentally and walk taller too. I know I can carry both my kids up the stairs at the same time and that gives me confidence that I am doing the right thing in order to be the best mom and wife I can be. Realizing that, I know I have ticked the biggest goal on my Crossfit Goal list!

What will the next 2 years will have in store for me? Stick around! I know I’m excited to find out!

When All Else Fails, Just Do One More Rep

I came home yesterday from an absolutely exhausting shift in the NICU. I had been busy all day, missed my dinner break and was very much looking forward to putting my feet up on the couch and devouring my dinner when I got home. The girls were both asleep and I thought I was in the clear for a relaxing evening. I showered and just as I sat with my dinner, BeZU woke up crying, so I delayed (further) my dinner and went to soothe her and give her some water. When she finally calmed back down, I stuffed food in my mouth at light speed. It was 2100 and I had lunch around 1300. Once I was done inhaling my food, I numbed myself with some mindless reality TV until Ben came home. We did our usual 10mins check-in with one another before I went to bed. I slept like a rock, despite the heat wave still in full force (30-32C in our room last night), but just before I went to bed, I looked up the WOD:

I had vivid dreams of hang power snatches and, in my dream, I could easily do 65#, something I have yet to achieve in real life. In my dream, my reps were fluid and easy and I really nailed it. I woke up and felt like today was gonna be the day I would finally surpass 60#.

Walked in the Box this morning and found beauty in the bare space:

Early morning glory

Early morning glory

We did the warm-up and then I had to demo the hang power snatch for everyone. Once that was out of the way, I set up my bar and my weights and got ready to tackle this:

Skill: Hang power snatch + OHS 6×1 E90s

I started with 40# and worked my way up. Once I reached 50#, I could definitely tell that it was getting heavier. I slowly feared my determination to reach 65# wouldn’t be enough for today. I did 60# and although the snatch felt challenging, the OHS felt really good. I loaded my bar with 65# and waited until it was time to go. I picked up the bar, went into the hang position and had a mental blockage. I got back up, reset the bar into the hang position and just lifted it up. I landed it in the power position, but had to do a double jump to stabilize the bar overhead. Once I did, I dipped into the overhead squat and that felt really good. Could it be that after 7 months of being stuck at 60# for any kind of snatch, I had finally broken through that barrier? Just to make sure, I put the bar down, waited a few seconds and re-did one more rep of just the hang power snatch. Surprise, surprise, it wasn’t a fluke because I got the bar back up, landed it in the power position and didn’t have to do a second jump to stabilize it this time around! Woot! Woot! I was one very happy girl!

40#-45#-50#-55#-60#-65# 65#

WOD: Jackita

I teamed up with Tracey and Kelsey for this one and everything that could go wrong pretty much did during this WOD. I set up the red and orange bands for my pull-ups (as well as a box to get myself onto the bar) and was planning on using 55# for the thrusters. Here were my reps:

  • Thrusters: 8-6-5
  • Pull-ups: 2-11-6

I started on the erg and rowed my 1 minute before going over to the thrusters. they felt good at 55# and I moved over to the rig for the pull-ups. I couldn’t do a strict pull-up with those bands, so I rushed back, switched the orange band for a blue one (the 1st band I could get my hand onto) and managed 2 reps before the minute was up. Not good 😦

I went back on the erg and I was breathing heavily. I went onto the thrusters and although I didn’t get as many reps as I did on my 1st round, it wasn’t too bad either. Back to the pull-up rig where I felt like I was sand-bagging the pull-ups as it was clearly too easy with those two bands. Oh well! That’ll teach me to look up what I did previously on the WOD instead of just winging it!

3rd round on the erg. I was wheezing pretty badly. I don’t know if it was because it was so humid this morning, but I had a sudden onset of asthma and I knew I didn’t have my inhaler with me. My last asthma episode was probably about 2 years ago and, although I have my inhaler in my work purse, it is probably long expired! I was really trying to catch my breath on the thrusters, but it took me a long time, hence the 5 reps. I moved onto the rig and, again, was trying to calm myself down. I know that the more I get into a panic about my asthma, the more I wheeze and the more constricted I get. I was just trying to calm down  and I was happy when it was all done and over with. I regulated my breath as best I could and Tracey helped me with her healing powers. I swear, she’s a unicorn in disguise: magical at Crossfit and in life! 😉 All in all, it was a pretty bad WOD for me and I did poorly compared to the previous time I had done this one, but I kept pushing through no matter what and, really, that’s all I can ask of myself.

I came home and then saw this on Facebook:

Burpee Punishment!

Burpee Punishment!

I forgot to put my bands AND my box away after the WOD. 1st time in 2 years that it happens, but I have been a space cadet over the past 2 days, to be honest. CFVC’s policy is a burpee punishment when you forget to put your equipment away. I videoed my punishment and posted it to FB so Coach Caleb would see that I kept my word, and then realized I had done only 28 burpees on the video so I did 2 more in the kitchen. Apparently, not only am I a space cadet, I also cannot count when doing burpees! 😉

I started my day slow and then got into the cleaning and laundry. My energy was dwindling by the time I finished and was glad to sit down for lunch a bit. Now, I can’t wait to go for nap before heading in to work tonight.

Something New

Remember last week when I said to you all that Rachel Siemens might start a weightlifting class at CFVC? Well, she did and her first class was today. I signed up for 3 classes, to see how it would feel like to be coached by a different coach on my Oly lifting. Some different things:

  • the class today was at 1230, therefore, I am a little more awake than my 0600 class, but it also means I have to manage my meals accordingly.
  • I have to “check with the husband” before I go. If we’re both off on weekends, it’s unspoken knowledge that we normally have “family-time” for most of the weekend. I just wanted to make sure he was ok with me going to lift heavy things for 1hr on a Sunday when we’re both home.
  • Coach Rachel isn’t Coach Caleb. Duh. No kidding. They both have a different approach at Oly lifting and it’s nice to have a different perspective, or cues on my lifts. Some of the things are very similar, but some are very different.

Overall, I had fun (that is, until Rachel brought out the whip because I was being a smart a**. That got me to shut up quickly! 😉 )! The class was very fast-paced, yet it felt like we really worked on plenty of things. Here’s what I ended up doing for reps and weights:

150614-001

Pause OHS: Rachel wanted us all to start light for these and she went according to our 1RM Snatch, so I had to start with the training bar with 2×5#. That felt light. Pausing at the bottom of the squat for 3secs was easy.

Hang Power Snatch: Again, I started with an empty bar and worked my way up to 50#. I think I could have gone up to 55# easily, but we ran out of time. Rachel gave me a good tip to start on my toes and curl my wrists towards my legs, elbows slightly facing forward on my last rep. That felt weird, but she said she was pleased with the results. She also said I would be able to do 65# Squat Snatch in no time. What she doesn’t know is my hesitation to drop into the squat has been my major issue all along and she didn’t get to see that in the power snatch. We’ll see! 😉

Hang Power Clean: Those felt good. Again, I just need to remind myself of keeping contact on my legs with the bar on the pull. Still struggling with this as the weight goes up.

Snatch Grip DL: Those were hard, but I did manage to go up to 65# which is technically 100% of my snatch weight (although I have never successfully managed a squat snatch at that weight). You could really feel your posterior chain working hard and I had to drop my butt much lower on my set-up. It felt weird at the beginning, but then I kind of got used to it. Something to keep working on.

 

In other news:

doing-the-w30-fb-cover

I officially start the Whole30 tomorrow! Yay! Although, it will probably end up being a Whole60 or maybe even a Whole100 (with some modifications when we go to Cuba for a week). I’m really hoping this will be a new way of living for me and not just a fad. I know I already feel better and I sleep so much more soundly at night (that is, when BeZU isn’t puking in her bed at 0400… Which happened last night, ugh!) and, already, I feel like I have more energy.

But why doing the Whole30 and why now you might ask? Here are my reasons:

So long, trustee crutch!

So long, trustee crutch!

I have been popping one of these bad boys pretty much on a daily basis ever since I got pregnant with Rina, 4 1/2 years ago. Heartburn is something I’ve come to consider normal for me. THEY AREN’T! I have been doing the Whole30 unofficially since last Sunday and haven’t had the need to take a Zantac since Tuesday. It may not be much for you all, but that’s a whole 5 days without me resorting to medication to relieve my upset stomach. WIN!

I already have talked about it previously, but energy levels are a big thing for me. I’m usually up at or around 0500. Every day. Whether I have to be or not. I also do Crossfit and have  2 daughters who like to be on the move (as should they, at 2 and 4)! Sometimes, I admit that keeping up with them is a struggle. However, since starting my Whole30, I’m usually in bed at 2130 (on a good night when I stay up late), which means I get close to my 8hrs of Zzzz. It also means that I have the energy to, let’s say, take them to the playground, go for an Oly lifting class (by myself) and then take them to the pool before putting them to bed. (Exactly what we did today). All that, on top of laundry and only having coffee this morning (no caffeine after noon, except on night shift duty). So yes, higher energy levels will always be welcome for me!

The third one is particular to me. Don’t be afraid by the picture below, but I’m trying something here. Here’s a picture of me, no make-up.

Not smiling because when I do, you can't see my dark circles...

Not smiling because when I do, you can’t see my dark circles…

Notice the dark circles under my eyes? They have lived there pretty much since my early 20’s and I’m just curious to find out if doing the Whole30 will help lose those. Maybe it won’t, but I’ll check back in 30 days. 😉

Another reason is purely about gainz. I want to see if I’ll be able to PR on certain lifts or WODs at Crossfit. I’ll also keep you posted on these as we go along!

Finally, let’s face it: losing some weight or some pudge would be awesome! I’ve always said that I will be wearing a bikini on the beaches of Cuba (I am very comfortable with who I am thanks to Crossfit and self-confidence), but if I could really rock that bikini, that would be gravy on top, right?!?

So there. Those are my reasons for doing the Whole30 now. My “pre-Whole30” pictures and measurements are done. I will keep them to myself until I do the comparison in 31 days! I hope you stick around for the joyride! 🙂

Shin Guard Musings

Lately, I have been using my shin guards a little more, whether it’s for box jumps or simply for deadlifts (I have shin splints and even just brushing the bar along my shins is painful) and although I have perused the sayings on them, I really paid attention to them yesterday, when I took them out of the wash. Here’s the ones I have and I will elaborate on the motivational quotes that are on them:

 

Here are the quotes on them:

  • The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender
  • Life doesn’t have a dress rehearsal, make it count
  • A goal is a dream with a deadline
  • Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet
  • The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire
  • Work will win when wishing won’t
  • Discipline is remembering what you want
  • When it’s all over, it’s not who you were. It’s whether you made a difference
  • Pain is weakness leaving your body
  • It’s not the will to win but the will to prepare that makes a difference
  • Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm*
  • Pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit

I was wearing them again for the WOD this morning (deadlifts) and I felt so at peace. I don’t know if it’s because I was inspired by the quotes or whatnot, but I’m feeling a ton better than I was last week, both physically and mentally and I like where I am right now!

Since we didn’t have any skill work today, we had a longer warm-up and the WOD was pretty much all skills.

 

 

Deadlift 5×3 EMOM: When I had looked at it at home this morning, I was thinking 135# for the DL, but I settled for 105#. I didn’t have time to warm-up for a higher weight and although they felt easy, I was happy with my technique.

Hang power clean + push press 5×3 EMOM: For this one, I chose 60# and I think it was a good weight for me. I wanted to pay more attention to having quick elbows and pushing the elbows out on the hang power clean and the press felt good, yet somewhat challenging towards the end. Maybe I should have gone to 65#…

Hang power snatch + OHS 5×3 EMOM: For this one, I chose 55# and really wanted to take the opportunity to work on my snatch. At 55#, the snatch is challenging and so were the OHS. I really needed to remember to brace my core and block my breath on the squat. The snatch was a bit only for the first 2 sets, but I think it improved on the last 3.

I like barbell work. I like feeling the control needed in order to get the bar to move the way you want it too. I like that it is much more than just lifting the bar, it engages your core, glutes, quads, shoulders, traps, etc. It is so much more intricate than just “lifting the bar overhead” and although I still very much struggle for most lifts, I like the challenge it offers.

A few days ago, the sun was shining bright and I wanted to put my favourite shorts on. To my surprise, they were way too big and I couldn’t locate the only belt I own (which is also too big now):

Photo 2015-04-20, 11 13 56 AM

That only meant one thing: Shopping!

I ended up going to Old Navy with the girls and managed to find a few tank tops and 4 pairs of shorts (shorts that have nothing to do with Crossfit, that is ;)!) To my dismay, I went from a size 12 / large last summer (in the green shorts above) to a size 8 / medium. As for the tops, I went from a medium to a small. I was so happy with the progress! I also realize that my favourite Lululemon shorts and crop leggings are getting too big. I need to cinch the drawstrings to the max and I still have to pull them up all the time. Oh well, I will replace those gradually as they are quite costly $$$!

Last, but not least, Béatrice asked for pig tails this morning and she is just too darn cute for me not to share a few pics with you all (as you can see, I am making the best of my week off with my girls!):

Dancing in the wind

Dancing in the wind

Cuteness overload!

Cuteness overload!

Roar!

Roar!

 

* Having failed A LOT, this is probably my favourite one!

Breathe

After the exhausting day we had yesterday and being up for 30hrs+ straight, I looked at the WOD last night and didn’t feel like going to Crossfit. However I knew I’d feel better just stepping foot into the Box so I forced myself to go. It wasn’t pretty, but I got it done.

I was greeted by a huge hug from Tracey and that opened up my floodgates, but I honestly didn’t care.I expected today to be a release of the said gates and I was ready for it.

Source

Source

Skill: Hang power snatch + OHS x 8

We had done something similar in a Oly class so I started at 50# for 4 reps and bumped it up to 55# for the last 4. My 2 middle reps at 55# were ugly, but I had a self-talk about bracing core, punching the bar up and dropping underneath it and finished off with better form.

WOD: Kitty Paws

I knew this would be hard, but I didn’t know just how hard it would be. I did a combo of TG+, which meant I used a 55# bar and decided on doing 10 DUs for each rounds. I may have been able to do 65, but I wasn’t feeling it at all, being on the verge of tears and all… The first round was uneventful and it took me a long time to get my 10 DUs done. It’s different doing them in my lifting shoes. The second round is where everything started to go downhill. I was tearing up a lot and had a hard time staying focused on the task at hand. I closed my eyes for the single skips and repeated that technique for all the remaining rounds in order to regroup. I honestly can’t tell you my time. I think it was around the 19:00 mark, but I didn’t even look at the clock when I finished. I just sank to my knees, put my head on them and bawled. I just needed to release all the sadness about Duke in order to be strong for the girls today. My goal is to not cry today with them, so I had a good go at it this morning. I was way last to finish and I’m sure people were probably wondering what the heck was wrong with me, but I really didn’t care. I have said it many times before, Crossfit is my therapy. I got my money’s worth today! 😉 After a few minutes, I tried to settle my breathing, taking one breath in, one breath out. I got up, picked up my gear and left.

A wise woman (my mom ;)) once told me to focus on the things I had power to change. I can’t change anything about the Duke situation. I can’t dwell on the “what if’s” and I need to be there for my girls. I need to be strong for them in order to let them feel their emotions about the whole thing. So instead, I will focus on the things I have control over: being a wife, a mom, planning my meals, enjoying my workouts and making the most of my days off with my little family all while breathing, one breath at-a-time.