That’s how I’ve been feeling since the moment I woke up this morning. I feel like I just need to take a big breath and exhale. I am slightly frustrated. Frustrated to be so far away from all my good friends, frustrated to be so far from my parents, frustrated to be on my own most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, I am with my girls and I love them to pieces, but sometimes, I just need some adult conversation and it can be pretty lonely being at home all day.
I went to Crossfit and felt defeated even before I started moving. I need to stop with all this negative self talk. Yes, I am struggling at Crossfit, but I only have myself to blame. I’m not losing weight and I know it has to do with my nutrition. It’s just so dang hard to cook healthy vegan food that I end up eating alone anyway and then have to cook for Rina and cook something else for Béatrice. Although, Béa will sometimes eat what I cook for myself. I really want my girls to be eating healthy and not see me struggle so much with my weight. And I am frustrated with myself that I can’t get back to the Whole Foods Plant Based nutrition that I know is best for me and used to come so easy to me. Like Nicole (Not the fat kid in gym class anymore) said it so well in this post, I need to get off the roller coaster once and for all. Anyway, enough about this nutrition ride and onto today’s WOD:
I was teamed up with a new (to me?) guy at the box. He looked to be about 15 so I knew he was gonna kill it and I was gonna slow him way down, but I didn’t care. We finished with a time of 17:27 and although those last wallballs kicked my round tush, I only scaled with the weight of the ball (I used a 10#). It is way better than when I started Crossfit (where I would normally scale the weights AND the # of reps). I managed to get through the WOD doing the FG and the best thing of all, even though we finished about 2 minutes after everyone else, I managed to keep my last rowing interval with an average for 500m below 2:20. I know it’s far from being great, but compared to the 2:32 average I was at in the OnRamp class, I’d say it’s a good improvement! I just need to stop beating myself up when I’m not performing as well as I would like to. It’s just hard knowing that I used to be very athletic and am now stomped in my fitness because of my weight. In the meantime, I’ll keep giving it my all and will also remember to breathe!
One thought on “Never give up!”
Oh wow, I didn’t realize you were vegan. That definately is a challenge. For me, I find planning ahead is really the key to success. Good luck, we’re in this together and you can do it!